Matching Baggage
by NotYetLostFaith
Summary: An old cliche with a twist. Rick and Kate meet in a book store, but not in the way you'd imagine. They start to get to know one another and soon find that they both have a lot of things going on that neither expected of the other. Can they make their baggage match, or will their histories clash too much?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note-Yet another new story from me. Not sure where this bravery is coming from. Oh well. This was another that sat on my computer forever. I hope you enjoy this. It's going to be a slow starter, but the chapters are nearly double what I normally write so it should balance out for you. Also, the name my be inspired by 6x07, but this is an AU set before the show. Let me know what you think. NYLF xx

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Kate held Zach's hand firmly in her own as she walked through the open door of the bookstore and across the floor, until she reached the Children's section. She crouched down and briefly set both her hands on her son's shoulders, attracting her four year old's attention.

"_Momma is going to get Grandpa's present. Can you stay here for me? How about you find a new book for us to read, yeah?"_ Kate signed to the young boy.

Zach nodded, smiling his bright smile at his mother, showing off his missing front tooth. _"Okay momma. I'll find us a good book."_ He signed back.

Kate beamed and kissed his cheek before standing and making her way through to Non-Fiction section to find the new fishing guide her dad had been dropping hints about for months. Zach would be alright for a few minutes, he knew better than to leave the store and it's not as if he could talk to strangers.

While Kate browsed, Zach wandered around the Children's section looking for a new book for them to read.

He was the best reader in his class and Kate was helping him, sharing their bedtime story with him, making him read every other page with her. But he devoured books just like his mother. They got through one a night at least.

Zach remembered what his mother had told him though, and made sure that wherever he was in the aisle, she was in his line of vision. It wasn't hard to feel isolated in his silent bubble and she liked to know the one person he could communicate with was always in sight.

Zach picked up a few titles and read the back like momma had taught him before deciding they weren't right and putting them back.

He glanced up briefly to pinpoint his mother's location, panic gripping him hard when he found he couldn't see her.

He half formed the idea of going to look for her, but she'd told him to stay here. She wouldn't have left the store, Zach was almost certain.

But what if she'd forgotten him? His lower lip started to tremble as tears built in his eyes.

Suddenly, Zach felt a hand on his shoulder. It was bigger and heavier than momma's. The four year old turned slowly, really hoping the person touching him wasn't bad.

"Hey little man." The man's lips formed. Zach tried not to be scared. "You lost?"

Rick realised pretty quickly that the kid wasn't going to speak to him. Clearly his parents had hammered home the 'stranger danger' message.

He gently took the kid's hand and tried to be reassuring as he talked to him. He told him that he was going to take him to the front of the store and ask the people there to use the overhead speakers to ask for his parents.

Zach followed the man holding him, knowing he couldn't fight him off. He knew momma would find him if this man took him.

Momma was a cop. She was clever and Uncle Kevin and Uncle Javi wouldn't let anything happen to him.

Rick asked Zach his name three times before giving up.

"Hi, could you put a message out for me? I think this little one's lost." He asked the young woman at the desk.

She smiled warmly. "Certainly sir, do you have his name?" Rick shook his head and the girl nodded. She held down the speaker button before she spoke again. "Could the adult with the brown haired, green eyed little boy in the yellow polo and jeans please make their way towards the Help Desk? Thank you."

Kate's heart stopped in her chest.

She'd left Zach in the Children's section. He was okay.

She took a deep breath. It had to be another kid.

Her feet were already moving her in the Help Desk's direction though. It couldn't hurt to check. She was done anyway.

_**KBRC **_

The moment Zach's eyes locked on Kate, he broke away from Rick's hand and ran, sobbing, into his mother's arms.

Kate had dropped to her knees when she saw him and encased him securely in her arms and held him tight.

"_Baby, I told you to stay put_." Kate signed.

Zach nodded. "_I did momma. I stayed like you said. But then I couldn't see you, and I got scared, and then he started talking but I couldn't understand. He just grabbed my hand, I couldn't stop him. I'm sorry momma. I thought you'd left and then the man..."_ he stopped signing to wrap his arms around her neck.

Kate held him close for a few seconds, breathing him in, stroking the back of his head, before pulling away to sign. "_It's okay baby. The man wanted to help you. He probably asked if you were lost. He put your description out over the speakers and that meant I could come get you. You didn't do anything wrong sweetheart. You're such a good boy. I'm sorry I scared you little man."_

Kate hugged her son to her chest for a few more seconds before hoisting him onto her hip and stepping forward to Rick, who had been standing awkwardly at the desk.

"I presume he belongs to you then?" Rick smiled.

Kate nodded. "I swear, I thought he'd be okay."

Rick held his hands up in the universal sign for surrender. "Hey, no judgement. I could just see him panicking. Any parent can recognise a panicking child at a hundred paces."

"You're a parent?" Kate asked curiously.

Rick nodded. "A little girl, she'll be ten next month." He extended his hand. "Rick."

Kate smiled as she gripped the offered hand. "Kate. Thank you, seriously, thank you so much."

Rick shrugged. "To be honest, I thought he was ignoring me. I just figured that his parents had instilled 'stranger danger' into him pretty hard."

Kate smiled affectionately and shook her head. "I have, but he didn't respond because he couldn't hear you."

Rick nodded. "Yeah, I realised that when you started signing to each other."

Kate smiled. "Can you sign?"

Rick shook his head. "No, bits and pieces but nothing fluent. It's pretty easy to recognise though." He smiled brightly. "What's his name? If you don't mind me asking?" He added tentatively when Kate hesitated.

Kate weighed it up for a moment before deciding it couldn't do any harm. "Zach. Zachary." She smiled gently palming the back of her son's head.

"Cute name." He smiled, eliciting a beautiful one from Kate. "My daughter is Alexis. Alexis Harper."

"Ah." Kate smiled.

"Yeah, precisely." Rick laughed.

It took Kate a moment before she giggled, the cutest of blushes colouring her face. "I, I didn't mean..."

Rick shook his head with a chuckle. "Don't worry about it, seriously."

Kate nodded, fighting to make her blood stop flooding her cheeks.

"She's with a friend." Rick explained, not sure why he felt the need to do so. "She's meeting me here in a bit; I have a signing in a couple of hours."

"Anything I might have read?" She asked politely.

Rick shrugged. "Storm Warning, Storm Season, Storm's Last Stand..."

"Oh, wow, you're Richard Castle." She murmured, her blush returning in full force.

Rick chuckled self-consciously. "You've heard of me then?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah, umm, sort of." She downplayed.

"I don't suppose you were coming to the signing...?"

Kate smiled. "Not if I'd have to wait in the hour long queue to do so no. It's my day off, so Zach and I are spending the day together."

Rick smiled warmly, making Kate's heart flutter for reasons she couldn't place. "Alexis gets to sit beside me and read while I sign. She's gonna be bored as hell but I have no one else that can watch her."

"What about her mom?" Kate asked before abruptly shutting her mouth and breaking eye contact. "I'm sorry, that's none of my business." She murmured, her brow furrowed, face warm, as she tried to not die of embarrassment.

"We're separated, have been for most of Alexis' life." He explained softly, absolving her embarrassment. "She lives in California, very occasionally comes and visits her."

Kate couldn't help but notice the bitterness in his tone. "That must be tough, for her, and you. I, I know how hard that can be." She revealed softly.

"Zach's dad not around?" Rick asked gently, determined not to push but unable to leave it alone when he saw the raw pain in her eyes.

Kate shook her head. "Never has been." Rick was about to say something when Kate opened her mouth again. "Gosh that sounds awful. It wasn't a one night stand or anything. We were married and then his daughter died and, I don't know why I'm telling you all this." She shook her head again and sighed.

"For what it's worth, I never thought it was a one night stand, you don't strike me as the type."

Kate nodded slightly.

"Tell you what, I'm gonna be here the rest of the day, and I know you and Zach have the day planned, but how about if you're at a loose end around five, we go get something to eat? Me, you, Zach and Alexis?"

Kate opened her mouth to protest but he shook his head.

"No pressure, just..." Rick paused before diving in head first. He almost never did this but he couldn't help himself. "If you don't mind me saying, you're _beautiful_," Kate blushed again, deeply, "and I would like to get to know you. But I totally understand if that's not where you're at right now. So, I promise I won't try anything, and no pressure okay? If you feel like coming along then please do, if not, I'll try not to be too disappointed."

Kate smiled gently. "Thanks, I'll, I'll think about it." The smile he gave her made it worth it.

"Great." He leaned in slowly and pressed a feather light kiss to her cheek. "Maybe I'll see you later."

"Maybe." Kate agreed before hoisting Zach higher on her hip and nodding when he asked if they were going. Zach waved to Rick, making both adults smile brightly, before Kate paid for her book and left the store.


	2. Chapter 2

Five o'clock rolled around and Kate just so happened to find herself with a dinner shaped hole in her schedule before it was time to go home and wind down with, and then bathe, Zach before bed.

Mother and son strolled, hand in hand, down the street at a slow pace, headed for the book store where they had bumped into Rick earlier.

Kate whistled low in her throat at the still impressive line outside the store, despite there only being ten minutes left of the signing. She picked Zach up, losing him once in a day was enough- she wasn't willing to let him be swept up in the crowd- before slipping into the store around a rather large woman in the doorway, clutching Storm's Last Stand to her well endowed chest. Once Kate was in, she made her way directly to the Children's section, planning on reading with Zach until Rick was free.

After a few minutes, Zach found a book that caught his interest and gave it to Kate before sitting in front of her, his head resting on his tiny fists.

One of the things Kate hated most about her son being deaf was that she couldn't hold him and read to him. She had to sit on the other end of the bed to read him a bedtime story, had never been able to sing him to sleep when he was little. But she didn't mind for one moment having to sign him the story.

She was a few pages in when she sensed a presence by her side.

"Hi?" She asked as she turned to face the young girl. She couldn't have been older than nine or ten, her beautiful flame red hair tied up neatly in a high ponytail with an emerald ribbon tied around it, matching the shade of her knee length dress perfectly.

"Hi." The girl replied shyly.

"You okay sweetie?" Kate asked gently, wondering if the girl was lost. Although, that would be ironic after this morning's incident.

The girl nodded. "I didn't mean to interrupt, but my daddy was talking to someone, and I was wondering if you could help?"

Kate smiled. "I can try. I'm Kate, and this is Zach, what's your name?"

"Alexis." She answered shyly.

"Beautiful name."

Alexis beamed.

"What's the problem?" Kate asked gently.

"Well I was reading this book that daddy recommended, but I don't know what this word means, and I couldn't work it out with contextual clues."

Kate couldn't help the smile that split her face. This girl, not even a teenager, was asking strangers for help because she couldn't understand words and yet she knew to work things out using 'contextual clues'? "Which word?"

Alexis smiled brightly and held out the book, her pointer finger just above the word she needed help with.

"'Dubious'." Kate smiled. "That's a tricky one." She smiled, making sure she wouldn't make the girl feel silly. "It means uncertain or hesitant. If someone is dubious about something, they aren't sure of it."

"Oh, okay. Thank you." Alexis smiled.

"No problem." Kate noticed that the girl seemed reluctant to leave. "You know, you could sit with us if you'd like, until your daddy is done talking? I was just reading Zach a story."

Alexis nodded shyly. "I'd like that."

Kate smiled and quickly filled the girl in on what had happened so far in the story. She then turned the page and read aloud for Alexis' benefit while signing along for Zach.

After a paragraph or two, Alexis offered to hold the book in Kate's eye line so she didn't have to look down every few words. Kate gratefully accepted and continued to read, nodding to the girl whenever she needed to turn the page.

Kate was nearly at the end of the book when Alexis turned slightly to the side and smiled, causing Kate to wonder what she was looking at. She turned her head and found herself nearly nose to nose with Rick, who was sat in almost the exact same pose as Zach.

"Hey?" Kate asked shyly.

"Keep going. Please? You have a lovely reading voice." He murmured softly.

Kate blushed again, but continued reading all the same. Once she had reached the last sentence, both Rick and Alexis applauded before Zach joined in so as not to be left out. Kate made a show of half bowing from her seated position, making both kids laugh.

"You found yourself at a loose end then?" Rick asked as he gave her a hand up.

Kate shrugged. "Thought we might as well have dinner with you."

Rick smiled. "Well, I see you've met Alexis." He glared playfully at the girl. "You know, for a kid who knows better than to talk to strangers, you've spoken to a lot of strangers today."

Kate smirked at the defiance on the nine year old's face.

"Firstly, that woman spoke to _me, _and secondly, you told me if I ever needed help- and you or Grams weren't around- I was to find someone with children as they usually pose less of a threat. Kate has Zach, so technically, I didn't break any rules."

Kate chuckled, gaining her own playfully pointed look from Rick.

"What did you need help with?" He asked once he looked back at his daughter.

"Dubious." Alexis shrugged. "Are you done now? Because I'm hungry."

Rick chuckled, slinging his arm around her neck and pulling her close. "Yup, I'm done. I am free and clear to spend the next few hours with you kiddo."

Kate smiled softly as she took hold of Zach's hand. "So, where to?"

"Uh, there are a couple of good restaurants around, one or two diners..." Rick listed.

"Or we live two blocks away. Daddy makes the _best_ homemade pizza this side of Italy." Alexis interrupted.

Kate looked from one Castle to the other with a soft smile and a raised eyebrow, making the youngest giggle and her father blush.

"I'm sure Kate doesn't want to come home with us pumpkin."

Zach gently head butted Kate's leg. "_What's going on? What are they saying?" _

Kate smiled gently before signing their dinner options. Zach immediately started motioning the sign for pizza over and over again making his mother laugh.

"What? What's he saying?" Rick asked smiling.

"He's saying 'pizza'. If it's alright with you of course?" Sensing Rick's hesitation, Kate automatically started filling the silence. "It's fine, really, I'll make him pizza another day. Why don't you pick a place while I talk to him?" Kate moved to kneel to talk to Zach but Rick caught her, wrapping his hand around her impressive, yet still feminine, bicep.

"It's okay." He assured her quickly. "Just not used to inviting a girl home on the first date is all." Kate felt herself blush at his choice of phrasing but neither of them corrected it. "Food allergies?"

Kate shook her head. "Not unless you wanna put penicillin in the pizza."

Rick chuckled. "Darn it, now I can't use my secret ingredient."

Kate laughed.

"You alright to walk or do you wanna catch a cab?"

"You've spent the whole day cooped up inside Rick; a walk will probably do you good."

Rick smiled. "My thoughts exactly." He took Alexis' hand in his own. "Come along mini-me." He said, making his daughter giggle, before taking Kate's hand in his spare. "Let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

Rick let them into the loft and helped Alexis out of her jacket before turning for Kate's, only to find her and Zach both stood stock still in the doorway.

"What's wrong?" He asked seriously as he hung Alexis' jacket up.

"_Momma our entire apartment would fit in this room."_ Zach signed.

Kate tapped the back of his head. "_Hey. Our place isn't that small." _She replied, ignoring the very real point her son had.

"Everything alright?" Rick asked slowly.

Kate nodded, turning to him sheepishly. "Yeah, fine, just... wow Rick your place is huge."

Rick smiled wryly. "It meets our needs."

Kate nodded, unable to close her mouth. Zach tapped her leg softly. "_Yes, baby?"_

"_Why don't we have a bigger place?" _

Kate sighed, drawing Rick's concerned gaze. "_Because Rick has a lot of money baby."_

"_And we have none." _Zach nodded before following Alexis into the loft, leaving his mother stood there, freefalling.

"Everything okay?" Rick asked, gently laying his hand on her elbow.

"Yeah, fine." She nodded, slipping her jacket off and handing it to Rick. "Thanks."

Rick watched her carefully once he'd put away her jacket. She seemed bothered by something Zach had said, but he had no idea what that was. He suddenly regretted not knowing how to sign.

_**KBRC**_

Kate found herself hovering around after Zach, terrified he would break something. She felt more uncomfortable in his home than she had anywhere for a while and found herself jumping when Rick started talking.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, careful not to draw his daughter's attention.

Kate sighed deeply and shook her head.

"Come on." He gently took her hand and pulled her through to his office and shut the door behind them, giving them a semblance of privacy.

"I, I shouldn't leave Zach..." Kate started weakly.

"He'll be alright for two minutes Kate. What's going on?"

She sighed and leaned back against the door, not yet comfortable enough to sit down.

"Kate, you were fine with me earlier and you seemed to be getting on with Alexis. Is this about Zach and strangers or something, because I can promise you he's safe here."

Kate felt about three inches tall. None of this was Rick's fault and she was making him worry. "It's not, I trust you Rick, you've already proven, not that you needed to, that your priority was his safety and Alexis is _wonderful,_ so you're clearly a good dad, that isn't..." she trailed off, laying her head in her palms.

"Kate?" Rick asked softly, taking a step towards her.

"I'm a cop, just made detective." She revealed softly.

"Congratulations." Rick murmured.

Kate shot him a small smile.

"This place, Castle, it's _amazing_ and Zach said that our whole apartment could fit in one room and he's _right_. He asked why our place wasn't bigger, and I said it was because you had money, and he turned around and said that we had none. And Jesus Castle he's right. I work ten hours a day, not including early morning and late night call outs, not including stakeouts and undercover stuff and Rick, I am _barely_ making ends meet. I'm a single mom, with a stupidly unpredictable job. My childcare costs are through the roof what with not being able to book a sitter in advance, and having to call at all hours. I was knocked out last week and was in hospital overnight and Zach doesn't know, and I feel so bad that I can't tell him anything, but I don't wanna frighten him. And I could get shot at any moment. I run the risk _everyday_ of not coming home to my son and there would be no one there for him. My ex is a waste of space; my dad can't take care of a _house plant_ anymore let alone a child, especially _my _child given that he can't sign. I'm still paying for my divorce and Matt doesn't pay child support because he refuses to believe he's his and now I'm blubbing at a complete stranger." Rick gently pulled a sobbing Kate into his chest and held her tightly. "I'm sorry." She murmured.

"Shhh, don't worry about it. Just let it out Kate, I've got you." After a moment Kate pulled back and turned away, embarrassed for her blubbering as much as she was for how much she had revealed. "You okay?"

Kate nodded quickly, sweeping her hands under her eyes to wipe away her tears and any eye makeup that had run.

"There's a bathroom if you go through my bedroom, you could freshen up while I go start making dinner?" Kate nodded but didn't turn around. With a sigh, Rick opened the door to his bedroom and gently touched Kate's closest elbow. "Furthest door on your right. Take your time, I'll keep an eye on Zach."

"Thank you." She whispered before fleeing the room. Once Rick heard the bathroom door shut, he shook his head and left the office.

"Alright then, who wants to help with pizza?"

_**KBRC**_

When Kate returned a few minutes later, Zach was sat on the counter, right beside Alexis, while they watched Rick toss pizza dough in the air and catch it expertly. She had never heard her son giggle as happily and it broke, rather than lightening, her heart

When Matt had left her, she had felt helpless and heartbroken, but had pulled it together for her newborn son. He was her world and now, she would have to be his too.

She had thought she'd done that.

It wasn't easy, but she learnt to sign the moment she leaned he was deaf and had researched all her options in that. They had learnt the more advanced signing together and there weren't many words she didn't know now.

She may be broke most of the time, but she made sure any left over money went on making his life more fun. She'd often go without, if it meant Zach could have something he really wanted for his birthday or Christmas.

But now, listening to her son laugh, not being able to remember the last time she'd been the cause of her son's mirth, or even the last time she heard it, she felt like a failure. It wasn't a feeling she liked, or coped very well with.

She shook her head at herself, taking her faltering emotions in an iron grip, plastered a smile on her face and made her way over to the kitchen.

She gently tapped Zach's shoulder, grabbing his attention.

"_Hey, little man, you having fun?" _She signed, keeping her bright, fake, smile steady. Her son nodded enthusiastically.

"_Rick's really good at pizza tricks. Alexis wrote down her name so I could finger spell it, and Rick too. I taught them to sign their names and mine and yours momma." _He looked so proud of himself, Kate felt tears burning again.

"_That's my clever man." _She beamed, kissing his cheek gently. "_I'm so proud of you Zach." _ He watched her curiously for a moment.

"_Are you okay momma?" _Zach asked, his hand movements small, his expression cautious.

Kate nodded. "_I'm okay Baby." _She looked up to find both Castle's watching them curiously. "Hey, what happened to the pizza tricks hmm? I want to watch too."

Alexis giggled and went back to watching her dad but Rick watched her for a moment longer.

She shot him a pleading look and he nodded before flipping the base back in the air, making both children giggle.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note-Update. Now changed Charlie to Zach. I knew I would get those two confused eventually haha. Oops. Thanks for telling me NYLF xx

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They had all eaten pizza until they were sure they would pop, Kate and Zach teaching the Castles bits and pieces of sign language throughout the meal, before collapsing on the couch for a movie. They settled on Hercules, a favourite of both the children and one Kate knew so well she could probably recite it, both verbally and signed.

"You okay?" Rick murmured tentatively to Kate.

She was cradling Zach in her lap, the little boy almost asleep, while Alexis laid on the floor.

Kate nodded languidly. "We should probably go soon. Get the little one to sleep. I'm sure it's nearly Alexis' bedtime too?"

Rick shrugged. "She'll go when she's tired; I'm not too strict on bedtimes."

Kate chuckled. "We are. Habit I got into with Imogene. Guess it stuck."

Rick leaned his head against the back of the couch. "Your ex's daughter I presume?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah."

He dropped it when he noticed the sheen to her eyes. "Thanks for coming over tonight, I had a good time. Haven't seen Alexis laugh like that in a while."

Kate smiled. "I haven't with Zach either. But hey, if your idea of a good time is pizza and sobbing I can arrange that."

"Always available to have a shoulder for beautiful women to cry on."

Kate chuckled and shook her head.

On screen the end credits were starting and Alexis stretched before sitting and turning toward the couch.

"I'm going to bed now Daddy." She yawned, prompting Rick to give Kate a look that had her stifling laughter behind her hand. "Come round again soon yeah?" She asked Kate softly.

Kate smiled gently. "We'll see Alexis." She wasn't about to make any more promises that she wasn't sure she could keep.

Alexis seemed to accept her answer though and kissed her father before waving at Kate and making her way up the stairs.

"Guess we better go too. Thank you for dinner Rick, Alexis was right."

He smiled brightly and watched as Kate rose to her feet elegantly, managing to keep her drifting son tightly to her chest.

"It was a pleasure Kate." He smiled, gathering both of their coats from the hall closet, laying Zach's across him and slotting Kate's into the crook of her elbow. "I'm gonna be at the store everyday this week, if you find yourself at a loose end. Or, y'know, you know where I live."

Kate chuckled. "Thanks." Rick held open the door and watched as Kate got in the elevator before going up to tuck Alexis in.

_**KBRC**_

It had been nearly a month and Rick had lost hope of seeing the beautiful vulnerable detective and her charming brilliant son. He'd finished his book tour, always making sure New York was last on the list, and had already started writing the next instalment of the series. The fact that pretty much every scene he wrote had a beautiful homicide detective present didn't even worry him anymore. He'd find a way to write her in somewhere.

He'd kept a watchful eye on Alexis, knowing her issues with abandonment, hoping that not seeing Kate again wasn't affecting her too badly, but she seemed to have taken it in her stride. She hadn't asked after her or Zach once and was now excited to welcome her grandmother home from her out of state spiritual retreat.

"Daddy?" Alexis asked suddenly from the backseat on their way to the airport to pick Martha up.

"Yes pumpkin?" Rick asked, carefully switching his attention between the road and his rear view.

"We should go out to dinner tonight. Celebrate Grams getting back."

Rick smiled. No matter what mistakes he'd made as a parent, he'd raised a kind considerate young lady. "That sounds like a good plan. It's very nice of you to think of it."

Alexis beamed. "We could invite Kate and Zach too."

And there it was. Rick's smile faltered slightly. "Maybe baby." The phrasing made his daughter laugh, which gave him the time to start thinking of a plan as to ascertain the detective's number so as to ask her to dinner. His thought process was interrupted, however, when he spotted a motorcyclist at the side of the road, crouched beside their stationary bike. They didn't look as though they could fix the problem either. He looked around before switching on his indicator and pulling up behind the bike.

"Daddy? What are we doing? We're gonna be late." Alexis reminded him.

"I know pumpkin, let me just make sure this biker doesn't need help alright? We'll be on our way soon enough. Don't get out the car."

Alexis scoffed. "Like I would."

Rick smiled at her in the rear view before getting out the car and walking round the front to give the guy a hand.

"Hey." He called, making his way up to stand beside the bike. "You okay?"

The biker stood and removed their helmet and they both froze.

"Kate?"

"Rick?" They asked simultaneously before laughing at themselves.

"I didn't know you rode." Castle smiled.

Kate chuckled. "You have met me once Rick, that's hardly surprising. What are you doing here anyway?"

"We were picking my mother up from the airport..."

"We?" She interrupted. "You have Alexis in the car and stopped in the middle of the roar? Rick what were you thinking?" She asked worriedly.

"That I knew what it was like to be the person at the side of the road with no idea how to fix it." Kate bit her lip shyly. "What happened?"

"I don't know." She sighed frustratedly. "One second she was fine and then kaput. She just died."

Rick chuckled, receiving a glare from Kate. "Mind if I take a look?"

Kate gestured that it was all his before smiling wryly. "You know better than to tip her over right?"

Rick laughed. "Kate, I rode from the age of fifteen until the day I found out Alexis was gonna be born. I know my way around a bike."

Kate watched as he worked, checking things she'd already tried, as well as a few she hadn't thought of. Every so often she'd look up at the car to make sure Alexis was still safe and happy. The girl was stuck in a book, perfectly content to sit while her dad tinkered.

"So." Castle started, as he tried her engine. The bike stuttered for a moment before falling silent again. He dropped back to his knees and started trying other things.

"So?" Kate prompted curiously.

"Haven't seen you much lately." He wasn't trying to make her feel guilty, was merely curious.

"Yeah." She sighed. "Sorry about that." She didn't offer anything else.

Castle looked up at her. "Busy at work?" he fished gently.

Kate shrugged. "Pretty busy. And then it was Imogene's birthday, and her anniversary and I just..." she shook her head.

"I get it." Castle assured her gently. "How's Zach?"

Kate smiled softly. "He's okay. Misses you actually."

Castle smiled, getting up and wiping off his hands on the rag Kate passed him. "Alexis was just asking if you'd like to join us for dinner actually. My mother's back today from out of state and we're going to have dinner to celebrate. You're both more than welcome."

"You fix my bike Rick Castle and I may just take you up on it. I'm late enough as it is."

Rick chuckled and turned the key, smiling at her when it roared to life.

"Oh god you're a life saviour." Kate laughed, leaning in to kiss his cheek, withdrawing the moment her lips touched his skin, embarrassed by the outburst.

Castle merely chuckled though. "You're welcome." He plucked a notebook from his jacket pocket and a pen and wrote down his number, tearing out the page to give to her. "Text me, I'll let you know when and where."

Kate blushed but accepted the paper all the same. "I will. Thanks for this." She murmured before replacing her lid and swinging her leg over her bike, and speeding off with and over the shoulder wave.

Castle smiled to himself as he made his way back to the car and set off for the airport again, his heart already a little lighter.


	5. Chapter 5

Kate was packing up her murder board, ready to leave for the day, when her phone chimed on her desk.

"Hey, Ry, can you get that?" She asked as the younger detective passed her desk on the way to his.

"Sure." Ryan smiled, unlocking the phone with the swipe of his thumb and opening the message. "Unknown number; 'Hi Kate, it's Rick, there's a little low key Italian round the corner from mine. It's fancy enough to be nice while still being family friendly enough for the kids and not attract attention from the press. How does that sound? Text me.'" Ryan recited for her as she wiped down the board. "Who's Rick?"

Kate blushed lightly before she could suppress it. "Just a friend." She murmured. "He fixed my bike this morning; we had dinner a few weeks ago with Zach and his daughter."

Ryan smirked. "Romantic friend?" Kate glared at him.

"Ryan, you think I haven't learnt my lesson with that?"

The Irish detective sighed, setting her phone beside him as he perched on the edge of her desk. "Kate, it was nearly five years ago." He reminded her softly.

"Four years, ten months, two weeks and three days." Kate returned softly. "Well, since I got my decree absolute. It's been five years, two weeks and four days since Imogene so I guess that's really when I should the count from huh?"

"You shouldn't know that to the day Kate." Kate shrugged gently.

"Imogene's anniversary will never leave me Ry, and her funeral won't either, for obvious reasons." Ryan nodded in acknowledgement. "As for the day I took my wedding ring off, well, it's not something that's easy to forget."

Ryan shot her a sympathetic smile. "Still Kate, maybe it'd be good for you get out there?" Kate shrugged, throwing everything into her bag as she tied her hair into a low ponytail.

"We'll see, but I'm not looking to get my heart broken or my son hurt."

Ryan smiled softly as he passed her her helmet. "All I'm saying is text him back and keep her heart open."

Kate smiled back, taking the lid and tossing her jacket on. "Thanks for caring Ryan."

He smiled brightly. "Anytime Beckett." He went to pack up his own desk while she made her way down to the garage where she'd parked her bike that morning, texting Rick as she went.

What harm could it do?

"Sounds great. Text me the address?"

_**KBRC**_

Kate let herself into the apartment and thanked and paid the girl who brought Zach back from school every day, before hugging her son tightly in greeting.

_"Hey baby boy. Did you have fun today?"_

_"Yes. We painted momma. I put my picture on the fridge, it's for you, mommy." _Kate smiled brightly at that, kissing her son's cheek gently.

_"Thank you baby. I have a surprise for you too." _She teased, waiting until her son was practically beaming before continuing. _"I ran into Rick today. He asked us to dinner." _Zach jumped up and down excitedly, smiling brightly, making Kate laugh.

_"Can we go? You said yes right?" _

Kate laughed, kissing his forehead gently. "_Of course I said yes. We're meeting him there in an hour baby so you gonna get dressed for me while I shower real quick?"_

_"Can do momma. I'll wear the shirt you like." _He smiled before running off to his room. Kate smiled brightly before going to her own room and starting the shower.

_**KBRC**_

Fifty minutes later, Kate got out of the cab, taking Zach's hand securely in hers before paying the driver.

Zach was nervous, she could tell as she watched his fingers half sign letters over and over. He looked adorable. His dark blue jeans fell to just above his bright green converse, his white "Good Cop Baby Cop" t-shirt tucked in, with a red plaid shirt left open on top. His t-shirt had been a gift from Ryan for his birthday a week and a half ago, and Kate adored to see him in it.

Kate herself had on her favourite deep purple boat neck top, paired with similar jeans to Zach's- only hers were skinny- and black pumps. She'd dried her hair but left it to curl naturally around her face. She wanted to look nice, even if it wasn't a date. Which it wasn't. Just dinner with a friend. And his daughter. And his mother. And her son. Totally not a date.

Zach tapped her leg gently, garnering her attention.

_"Yes, baby?" _Kate asked, crouching to his level. She preferred to be at his eye line as much as possible.

_"Momma, what if they don't like me?" _

Kate gently cupped his cheek, trying to take the hesitancy from her beautiful caring boy's eyes. _"Zach, what isn't to like? They liked you last time didn't they?" _Zach nodded slowly. _"Right then. Baby, they like you. Neither Rick nor Alexis would lie and tell you they liked you if they didn't." _

"Kate..." Rick called happily, pausing when she held a hand out to him behind Zach's head, who hadn't noticed him yet. He nodded, understanding they needed a moment.

_"But, momma, daddy..." _Zach trailed off, breaking Kate's heart. She closed her eyes for a moment, fighting with her composure.

_"Angel, daddy is different. What's brought this up honey?" _Matt almost never came up in conversation.

_"It was Immie's day. Saw the picture. Daddy loved Immie. Why not me?" _Kate brought him into her chest, holding him close, trying not to sob into his hair. After a long moment, she pulled back determinedly.

_"Zach, listen to me okay? I love you. I love you baby and you don't need him in your life. Daddy was very silly to let you go baby and now that he has you don't need him." _Zach nodded.

_"Okay mommy. Love you too." _Kate pulled him back into her chest, holding him tight as she stood, pulling him onto her hip, before turning to Rick.

"Hi, sorry." She apologised but he shook his head.

"Not at all. Kate, this is Martha Rogers, my mother." He introduced the redhead to her with a warm concerned smile. Martha extended her hand, smiling brightly when Kate shook it.

"Pleasure to meet you Ms Rodgers. Kate Beckett and this is Zach."

"Please dear, call me Martha." Kate nodded at the warm request. "Richard, why don't Alexis and I go and get us our table while you and Kate talk." It hadn't been a question. Rick nodded even as Martha led Alexis into the restaurant.

"Everything okay?" He asked quietly. Kate nodded, stroking Zach's back gently.

"We just had a moment that's all. Give him a few minutes and he'll be back to my bright happy little boy."

Rick smiled softly. "Of course. Shall we?"

Kate nodded, smiling to herself as he rested his hand on the small of her back in order to gently guide her through the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Zach sat silently, watching the woman momma had told him was called Martha as she made huge gestures with her hands as she spoke. She was very bright and colourful and she smelled nice. Not as nice as his momma though. Momma was smiling. She always looked tired when she thought he wasn't looking, tired and sad, despite the big smile she put on for him when she saw him watching. But now she looked happy. Maybe Rick and Alexis and Martha could help him make momma happy again.

_**KBRC**_

Kate found herself consciously reminding herself, for the first ten minutes or so, that it was normal to be nervous, but that she had to stick it out. It was good to socialise with people that you didn't see every day and this was to benefit her son as much as, and maybe even more so, than her. But as the evening progressed, she realised that she was actually having fun. Martha made her laugh and Rick and Alexis were lovely as usual. Zach smiled more than he had in a while, especially when Alexis, bless her heart, engaged him in a written conversation in Castle's, apparently ever present, note book and asked him to teach her to sign some things.

"So, Kate, you're a police officer hmm?" Martha asked as she brought her wine glass to her mouth.

Kate smiled, her eyes flickering to find her son before returning to her friend's mother. "Detective, actually. I passed the test about three months ago." She caught Rick's proud smile out of the corner of her eye and found herself fighting a completely unnecessary, and unwarranted, blush.

Martha smiled broadly. "Congratulations. That must be exciting?"

"It is. It's hard work, and my hours have gotten longer, and more unpredictable, which makes Zach's childcare that much more complicated, but it's a lot of fun."

"Richard works from home dear, I'm sure he could watch your son if you needed..." Martha stopped when Kate shook her head.

"I can't ask that of him. Besides, Zach needs to be able to communicate with the person watching him. All of his babysitters can sign, even the girl who takes him to and from school, Rick can't. I wouldn't put either of you in the position of not being able to communicate."

Castle nodded slowly. As much as he'd love to help her out, Kate was right. If he couldn't sign, he had the potential to put Zach in danger, and he'd never take that risk.

"Thank you though, for the offer. It's appreciated, by us both." Kate smiled gently.

Rick shook his head with a smile. "No need to thank me Kate, it's what friends are for."

Kate carefully squeezed his hand where it sat beside hers before dropping it at his mother's knowing look. "Hey Alexis." She called across the table to get the girl's attention.

"Yeah Kate?" She asked brightly, looking up from the sentence she was writing.

"Tap Zach for me."

Alexis nodded and tapped Zach's shoulder, pointing at Kate when he looked up.

"_You having a good time baby?" _Kate signed, smiling when her boy's face lit up.

"_Yes momma. Alexis is fun. And the food is good." _

Kate smiled before glancing at her watch, surprised to see that it was nearly seven. _"You getting sleepy yet?" _She asked.

"_Little. Not going yet though, right?" _

Kate shook her head. _"Little longer my man. But then you're going straight to bed when we get home." _She bargained.

Zach nodded. _"I can do that momma." _With that he went back to his and Alexis' conversation, making his mother smile.

"Everything alright?" Castle asked quietly.

Kate nodded. "Just checking in with him. We'll be good for another half an hour or so before I need to get him home. He tends to get tearful if I don't catch him before he needs to crash."

Rick nodded. "We can do that. And hey, let me drop you home? _I_ asked _you_ to dinner, I can't expect you to pay for your transport here and home."

Kate debated for a few seconds. There was the safety thing- yes Rick seemed nice enough, but he was still a stranger, and inviting him to know where she lived with her son may not be wise- but there was also the fact she didn't want him to start to think she couldn't even look after them both. She sighed softly before turning back to him with a tentative smile. "You sure you don't mind?"

Rick shook his head. "Course not. Mother has a party after this anyway so I have room and I'm sure the kids don't mind spending more time with each other."

"Then that'd be great, thank you."

Rick shook his head. "It'll be a pleasure Kate."


	7. Chapter 7

Rick kept his eyes studiously on the road while Kate was turned half in her seat to watch Zach, her hand stretched between the front seats in order to reach his knee, a touchstone while he fell asleep. Alexis was reading with her headphones in, so the moment Zach closed his eyes, and they stayed closed, Kate turned back in her seat with a sigh.

"He out?" Rick asked softly, turning his head slightly in her direction.

Kate nodded, running a hand through her hair. "You know how deafness works, right?" Castle gave her an odd look. "Only, you don't need to lower you voice in order to keep him asleep. He wouldn't hear you if you shouted."

Rick chuckled. "Force of habit. I've never had a deaf child, only Alexis. Child asleep, lowered voice. It's habitual at this point." Kate smiled softly, sleepily. "You know, giving me your address means you could have a nap now. I'll wake you when we get there."

Kate shook her head. "Not tired."

"Ha, liar." Rick smiled, receiving a too-sleepy-to-be-affective-glare.

"It's just been a long week." She sighed, curling her body towards him within the confines of her seatbelt, tucking her hand under her cheek.

"Wanna talk about it?" Rick offered quietly.

Kate's eyes closed, before fluttering open again. It took her a moment to focus on his face before she shook her head. "You'll use it."

Castle chuckled. "'Names have been changed to protect the author'. Besides, it's not about that. You look burdened by it Kate. I want to help."

Kate looked a little surprised, which worried him slightly.

"You don't believe me?" He guessed.

Kate shook her head, but Rick had a feeling it was at herself more than in answer to his question.

"I, I do it's just," Kate sighed deeply, dropping his eye line in order to stare at his thigh. "No one has asked me if I wanted to talk about a case in five years and it's, it's just _odd_, hearing it again." She cleared her throat softly.

"I take it your divorce was about five years ago then?" Castle asked softly, trying to be as sensitive as possible. He knew what this was like after all. Kate nodded slowly, her lips pressed together until they were white. "Messy?"

Kate laughed humourlessly. "You could say that."

Rick nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Castle decided to take the leap. "Meredith cheated on me. With her director. In our bed. While our four month old daughter slept in the next room." He revealed, trying to put her at ease a little. He'd played the games, he knew this story well.

"Matt blamed me for his daughter's death." Kate murmured, her brow furrowing.

Rick turned to her, glad of the red light so he could watch her. Tears gathered in her eyes but he knew she wouldn't let them fall. Not after last time.

"Then said he would never forgive me because I didn't go to the funeral. Then accused me of Zach not being his. Divorce papers arrived the day of our fifth wedding anniversary."

"Fuck Kate." He murmured, shaking his head.

Kate huffed hollowly. "Yeah."

"Well, you win." He tried to joke but the second hand heart break in his voice ruined the effect.

"I'm okay. It was..."

"No, Kate, you're not. And you never have to be with me, okay?" He pulled over, turning off the engine and taking her hand in his. "Kate, I care about you and yeah, it kills me to see you in so much pain, but I never need to see you 'okay' if you aren't. Don't hide it for my sake, you'll make yourself ill."

Kate stared down at their hands, slowly stroking her thumb along the back of his palm. "My case?" She started and Rick gently squeezed her palm to let her know he was following if she wanted to continue. "It was the homicide of a young woman. She was nineteen and had been out for the night with a friend. She ended up shot to death in a mugging gone wrong. Her father spent most of my interview with him blaming her friend, loudly, for his daughter's death. It hit me wrong. And then, when we caught the guy, he was just, so _blasé_ about it. He didn't even care about her. Didn't care that she wanted to be a doctor and help save lives. Didn't care that she was in a big sister programme. Do you know what he killed her for? Do you? Twenty dollars and a fifty dollar phone. That's it. And he shot her for it." Kate shook her head. "I just don't get people sometimes Rick. I just don't understand."

Castle squeezed her hand gently. "Humanity sucks sometimes Kate. I write about murders, and no, it isn't the same as living them, but it gives me some insight here. But then you get to come home. And see your amazing little boy. And surely that makes it all worth it? Restores your faith in humanity just a little?"

Kate smiled, looking up to meet his eye again. "_You_ restore my faith in humanity Castle. You barely know me and yet you try _so_ hard to make me feel better. It's just, you're _amazing_ Rick."

Castle smiled softly, dropping her hand to cup her cheek, gently smoothing his thumb under her eye, catching the lone tear rolling down her cheek. "You ever need that pick me up Kate; you just have to call, okay? I'm here. If you need someone to yell at, or cry on, or to distract you, or just to throw chocolate your way and retreat to a safe distance." That one had Kate chuckling, making Rick smile. "I'm here for you Kate. In whatever capacity you need."

"How about friend? I don't have many of those. Friend would be awesome." She murmured vulnerably.

"That I can do." He smiled at her softly before turning the engine back on and pulling away.


	8. Chapter 8

When Rick's phone started to ring at nearly midnight, he was shocked to see Kate's caller id. They'd been having at least weekly dinners for the last month and a half, letting Alexis and Zach play while they either joined in or talked about Kate's cases. It was nice, and Rick loved to see Kate relax over a glass of wine, knowing that Zach was in safe hands, given that Alexis was learning sign language and getting the boy to test her. But as close as they had gotten, Castle had never gotten a twilight phone call from the detective.

"Kate?" Castle asked slowly. He'd been writing, it wasn't like she'd woken him, it was just odd.

"Rick Castle?" A male voice asked, confusing the writer further.

"Yeah? And you would be?"

"Detective Esposito. I work with Beckett."

Rick's spine straightened involuntarily. "Is Kate alright?"

There was a moment's hesitation before the detective continued. "Beckett's in hospital." Rick nearly dropped the phone as he stood bolt upright. "She's okay." He assured him quickly. "She's conscious and everything. But Zach's with a babysitter..."

"Where? I'll go pick him up." Castle answered immediately.

"At Beckett's, the baby sitter will let you in, I take it you know the address?"

"Yeah, course. Am I bringing him back here or to the hospital?" He heard the sound of people talking in hushed tones over the line, and could have sworn he heard Kate's voice, before the male detective came back to him.

"To yours for the night? Then if you could come pick her up tomorrow?"

"Of course. Just get someone to text me when she's ready and I'll be there. She is okay though, right?" He couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah man." Esposito murmured sympathetically. "She's fine. Precautionary overnight obs."

Castle sighed. It wasn't relief, wouldn't be until he saw her with his own eyes, but it was enough to stop his imagination running away with him. "Okay, I'll go get Zach and pay the babysitter. Don't let Kate worry about that, I've got it covered. The baby will be fine here for the night and I'll see her tomorrow okay?"

"Sounds good man. Thanks for doing this."

"Anything for her, she knows that."

_**KBRC**_

Zach was asleep when Rick arrived. He paid the young woman watching him, tipping for her trouble, and walked her out before packing a bag for Zach.

He left the backpack beside the front door before hesitating on the threshold of Kate's bedroom. Did he pack her a bag? Was that his place?

When he thought about it though, he had no idea what to pack her. He didn't even know why she was in hospital.

Reaching into his pocket, Castle retrieved his phone, calling up Kate's friend Lanie's number. He still had it from that one time Kate's phone had died and she needed to call the medical examiner with a new thing to test for in a vic's blood.

After a few rings, the doctor answered with a slightly strained, "Hello?"

"Hi, it's Rick Castle, Kate's friend? I don't know if you've heard but Kate's in hospital?"

Lanie sighed. "I've heard. I'm actually on my way there to see her. What do you need?"

"A detective that works with her called me earlier. Asked me to pick Zach up from the baby sitter so I'm in Kate's apartment right now. I was just thinking that maybe I should pack her a bag? But I realised I had no idea what to put in it."

Lanie chuckled. "You're sweet writer boy. She'll need comfy clothes. Loose, warm. The third draw in the cabinet beside the door is where she keeps her lay-around-the-house clothes." Castle walked into the room and spotted the draw. He hit the speaker phone button on his cell and placed it on top of the cabinet before gently easing open the draw. "She'll need sweats." Castle located the grey sweatpants quickly enough and took the out, putting them, still folded, on the floor beside him. "Also, there should be a huge NYPD sweatshirt in there?"

"No, I don't...oh yup, there it is." Castle commentated as he took the sweatshirt and put it with the pants.

"Now, she'll hate me for suggesting it, but clean underwear would probably be a good idea?"

Caste found himself blushing but he reigned it in. Kate was in hospital, she needed him to man up and deal. "Top draw?" He guessed knowingly.

Lanie laughed. "Yeah. Don't go rifling through my girl's panties. She'll want comfort over sexy. Got it?"

Castle laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, wasn't gonna pick something like that." He took a deep breath and opened her underwear draw quickly. He took a quick look, who wouldn't in his situation, before selecting a pair of black bikini briefs. "Will she need a bra?" He asked, getting over his awkwardness pretty quickly. He'd been married, lived with his daughter. He could deal with women's clean underwear. If it had been Kate's dirty washing, that would be another story, but clean out the draw wasn't a problem.

"Not with three cracked ribs." Lanie murmured softly. Castle inhaled sharply. "Yeah. Suspect hit her hard, she went down harder." Lanie explained gently.

"Right. No bra." Castle closed the draw before opening the next one, his hunch pulling off when he saw socks. He selected a warm comfy looking pair and added them to his pile. "Anything else she'll need?"

"I think just Zach at this point. She'll be in a gown tonight so no need for pyjamas. She might want her toothbrush and hair brush though. They'll be in her bathroom." Lanie continued.

Castle made his way through the open ensuite door and quickly located her purple toothbrush and her tube of toothpaste before grabbing her hair brush and the hair tie beside it; could be useful. "Anything else? Oh, she'll need sneakers I guess. I bet four inch heels aren't fun with rib injuries." Lanie made a positive noise and Castle grabbed the sneakers from the bottom of her wardrobe. "Anything I've missed?"

"Don't think so. You've got stuff packed for Zach I presume?"

"Yeah. I have a kid so that one was easier. Does he have anything specific he'll need though? A comforter of some kind?"

"There's a t-shirt of Kate's that he always sleeps with. It should be on his bed. You'll wanna grab that."

Castle smiled softly. "I'll grab it when I grab him. Does Kate have a backpack I can put her stuff in?"

"There's an overnight bag under her closet. That should do."

Castle quickly grabbed the bag and carefully set Kate's things inside. "Thank you for this Lanie."

"No problem writer boy, thanks for thinking of it. It hadn't even crossed my mind to be honest."

"You've had other things to worry about." Castle absolved quickly. "I'm gonna let you go so I can get Zach back to mine. Send Kate my love?"

"Of course. See you soon Castle." Lanie hung up and Rick pocketed his phone, slinging the bag over his shoulder before making his way into Zach's room, being sure to grab Kate's worn-soft shirt along with the boy.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note-Seriously, so long since I last updated this, but I've been working twelve hour shifts a lot so not really had the time to write. I have a few comments about the reviews from my last chapter however. 'Emily' while I appreciate the tips, it's a little disheartening when your first review is literally just telling you the things you did wrong. And for my 'Guest', I am well aware that twilight is dusk, I was being poetic, not literal. But thank you, for giving me a detailed description on when twilight should be. Enjoy this chapter though guys, NYLF xx

* * *

Rick adjusted Zach on his hip as he made his way through the hospital entrance.

Alexis had been helping him translate for the boy all morning before he got a text from Kate saying that she was being discharged soon.

Zach had been fine with waking up at Rick's, once Alexis' signed and Rick's written explanations had told him what was going on, but was now anxious to see his momma, to make sure she was okay.

Rick made his way through the hospital quickly, already knowing where to find the detective thanks to her instructions that she had texted to him that morning.

He could feel the anxiousness flooding through Zach's system, knowing enough from his daughter to know that he was signing for his momma over and over again.

Castle took a deep breath once he'd reached Kate's closed private room door. He didn't really know what he was about to walk into, despite his extensive research on rib injuries this morning. But the trembling little boy in his arms pushed him forward.

"Kate?" He asked gently as he pushed the door open slowly.

"Hey, Rick." She replied, cheerful enough despite the hoarse crack in her voice, the hitch at the end of every breath she fought to keep normal.

Zach was suddenly very very still.

"_Hey, baby." _Kate signed stiltedly, keeping her arms close to her chest. "_I'm okay Zach. It's okay." _Rick watched as Zach ever so slightly relaxed. "Rick?" Kate asked aloud, startling him slightly.

"Hmm? Yeah?" He answered ineloquently when faced with the sight of her, so fragile and tiny in that hospital bed with her polyester gown swamping her slender figure.

"You can come closer you know? I won't bite." She granted him a very shy smile before ducking her head slightly, an adorable-in-any-other-circumstance blush covering her cheeks. "Or break."

He granted her a quick smile before closing the distance between them. She just looked so tiny, like a child playing dress up in their parents' clothes, the fabric far too big around her slim frame.

"How are you feeling?" Castle asked quietly, hovering by her bed, unsure where to put himself.

"I'm okay. Sore and tired. Breathing kinda hurts, but I'm okay."

Rick's own breathing stuttered. "Jeeze Kate." He whispered softly.

"I really am okay though." She assured him quickly. "Thanks for taking Zach for the night. Was he alright?"

"Yes, yeah, no he was fine. Asleep when I picked him up, awake by eight, a little disorientated but happy enough once Alexis and I explained what was going on."

"She's pretty good at signing now. I'm impressed." Kate smiled softly. She shook her head slightly before nodding to the edge of her bed. "Are you alright to sit down?" She requested timidly. "Hurts to look up at you at this angle."

"Right, sorry." Rick sat down quickly, jumping up again when he rocked the bed making Kate wince. "Sorry, jeeze Kate I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I'll go get someone."

"Rick!" She called halting his ramblings. "Rick, calm down would you?" She murmured, cupping her left side with her palm. "Sit down _slowly. _It'll be fine. Just, _gentle_."

Rick nodded slowly before sitting down very slowly, carefully adjusting a very confused Zach so he was sitting comfortably on his lap.

"_Uncle Rick is just being silly Zach, don't worry so much baby." _Kate signed in explanation, causing her son to look up at the man with a bemused head shake, making Castle laugh. "Rick, you don't need to be so awkward around me. I mean, it's not like I went through _your _underwear drawer."

Castle blushed scarlet and ducked his head. "Lanie told you about that huh?"

Kate nodded, smiling. "Thank you."

Rick's head snapped up, that wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting. "For going through your underwear drawer?" He asked confusedly.

"For caring enough to ask. For knowing that I'd need it, appreciate it. For getting through your embarrassment in order to help me." She smiled quickly. "For being my friend."

"You don't need to thank me for that Kate, any of it. I was so scared when I got that phone call. I would do anything to make this easier for you Kate. Anything."

Kate smiled softly, her eyes still a little tighter than they normally would be due to her pain levels slowly rising. "How about we start with getting home? That would be really helpful right now."

"What, to your four storey walk up with a four year old and cracked ribs, nope."

Kate looked concerned and confused. "But, then..."

"Kate, I have a ground floor bedroom, a spare bedroom for Zach and a home with people who care about you. Stay with me for the next couple of days, just until your ribs heal. You don't have to do everything by yourself y'know? You can accept help."

Kate shook her head. "Rick, honestly it's a wonderful offer but I couldn't."

"You can Kate. It isn't my place, and I'm aware of that, but you're gonna need help for a few days to even dress yourself, let alone do other things. You can barely move enough to sign. Let Alexis and I help you? Please? It isn't a bother."

Kate smiled softly. "Rick. I, I appreciate the offer. Really, _truly_ I do. But I just want to go home and rest and really gently hug my kid. I don't want to have to be sociable or company ready..."

"Kate, you do know this is a 'no strings' offer right? I'm not asking you to come over and entertain our children, or me, or even see us if you don't want to. All I'm asking is that you give yourself sufficient time to heal with someone there to help you if you need a hand."

Kate sighed. "You're sure it won't be a problem?"

Rick shook his head softly, giving her a tender smile. "Not even a little one."

"Okay." She smiled a little weakly, exhaustion hitting her abruptly. "Then that would be nice. Take me home Rick."

* * *

Update: I would like to humbly and entirely apologise to my guest reviewer. I didn't mean for that to come off quite so harshly. But I was wrong to call you out on something you thought was helpful and I'm sorry. There are no excuses for making a person feel bad, especially someone who was only trying to help anyway. And I'm sorry. I hope with everything in my heart that you still read this story and will read this apology because I feel truly awful now and really hope that you, even if you don't forgive me, at least accept my apology. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. NYLF


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note-Just, give this chapter a chance. It's short and doesn't really tell you a lot but it has a reason so just, go with it? NYLF xx

* * *

Castle was walking past Kate's room, his bedroom, a few days later- she'd moved into his bedroom while Rick had moved upstairs to stop Kate having to walk up the stairs while she stayed at his- when he heard a muffled whimper followed by a growl of utter dissatisfaction.

"Kate?" Rick asked, tapping on the closed door. "Everything okay?"

"Fine." Kate replied, her teeth clearly gritted.

"Is there something I can help with?"

Kate moaned in pain and frustration both and Castle took a breath before opening the door slowly.

"Kate?" Rick peered around the door to find Kate, her face flushed and tear stained, facing the mirror, trying to work her arms into her shirt.

So far, Rick had lent her his button downs, the easiest thing for her to get herself into by herself, and Lanie had been around to help her if she needed. However, Lanie was working today and Rick had still been asleep when she woke up so she'd tried to get herself dressed in her own clothes, something Rick had had Lanie pick up for her after he had gotten her home.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Castle asked concernedly, crossing the room to stand behind her, his gaze never once leaving her face to notice she was stood in only her jeans and cherry red, lace trimmed bra.

"I can't." Kate whispered dejectedly. She'd been struggling with her limitations frequently enough but he'd never seen her in tears over them.

"All you have to do is ask Kate, I'll help you."

Kate met his concerned gaze in the mirror, her flat feet making her more than a head shorter than him and making her look so much younger. "What, I'm supposed to wake my friend up, a guy who in the grand scheme of things I barely know, and ask him to put my shirt on for me?"

Rick smiled softly. "If that's what you need Kate, yeah. I don't mind. I am curious how you got your bra on, and why you're wearing one with cracked ribs though."

"The three ribs I cracked are lower than the line of my bra. It doesn't affect them. And I was so bored of not wearing one, it makes me self conscious."

That he knew, he'd seen it written across her face every time they were in a room together.

"And how did you get it on?" Rick asked, his writer's brain making him ask the potentially awkward question despite his better judgement.

"Front closure." Kate revealed shyly.

"Ah." Rick smiled. "So, shirt then?"

"Rick, really, I can't ask you to dress me."

"You aren't asking." He reminded her gently. "Kate you're injured, let me help you in any way I can."

She glared at him for a long moment, long enough to make Rick's smile turn slightly self-conscious, before sighing deeply,, the goose bumps on her skin making the decision for her.

"Fine." She whispered, utterly mortified.

Rick chuckled as he took the shirt from her fingers. "Don't tense so much, you'll only hurt yourself further. Relax." He practically whispered in her ear.

Kate shuddered. Easy for you to say she thought to herself. He wasn't the one being dressed by someone he found himself thinking about more and more often lately.

Rick gently took her hand in his and eased it into the sleeve of her shirt before repeating the process with the other. With slow and fluid movements, he carefully drew the fabric up her arms and settled it on her shoulders, gently pressing a kiss to her shoulder blade once it was in place. Kate sighed softly.

"Turn around." Rick murmured softly, not wanting to break their moment.

Kate briefly considered turning the offer down, but quickly squashed that notion. She slowly turned in place to face him, watching his face as he slowly fastened all of her buttons for her.

He drew the shirt closed around her bust to fasten the last button, his knuckles gently brushing her chest, making Kate's breath hitch, causing her to wince gently.

"Sorry." He whispered, slipping the last disk through the hole with a smile. "There. Better?"

Kate nodded. "Thank you."

Rick shook his head, gently stroking the back of his finger down her cheek. "Any time."

He hesitated for a moment before screwing up his courage and leaning in slowly, ever so gently capturing her lips with his own, shocking them both.

He barely got to kiss her for a few seconds before she drew back on a sharply inhaled breath, covering her mouth with her hand, keeping her eyes tightly shut.

"Kate?" He asked cautiously.

"We, we shouldn't have done that." She murmured, still not looking at him.

"Why? Kate, we're both adults, we're both single..."

"No. We, we shouldn't have..." Kate sighed, opening her eyes slowly, Rick's heart dropping when he saw the tears she'd been hiding. "I'm, I'm gonna go home. I, I'll see you around Rick." She murmured, tearful and defeated.

With that she abruptly left the room, leaving Rick dazed and confused.


	11. Chapter 11

He stood there for only a few seconds before following her out.

"Kate?" He asked fighting to keep his voice from straying into aggravation. She couldn't just kiss him and then walk out in tears with no explanation.

He found her sitting on the bottom step, her back straight to protect her ribs, her breathing shallow as she fought the sobbing fit building in her chest.

"Kate?" He asked softly, the look on her face more than enough to make any ill feelings disappear.

"I, we, _Rick." _She whispered brokenly, her brain working too fast to settle on one opener.

"Kate, it doesn't have to change anything." It broke his heart to suggest it, but he'd do anything to take that awful fear off her face right now.

"It changes _everything_." She bit out, her voice weak with tears and heartbreak.

If he'd have known this would be the reaction, he would never have kissed her.

"Kate, it's, it was just a kiss." He murmured, coming to kneel beside her, his hand gently coming to cup the back of her arm from

where her elbows rested on her knees.

"No, Rick, it wasn't. I, I can't do this Rick, Zach, he, he has to be, _Rick_..." Her eyes pleaded with him to understand. "I, I can't do this to him again."

"Do what again? I don't understand Kate." Rick was baffled by the beauty in front of him, hovering on the knife edge before she fell head long into a full blown crying bout.

"The last time I, it ended up really hurting him."

"Kate..."

She turned to face him, a fragile fire burning in her eyes, arresting his sentence before he could finish it. "Castle, the last time I felt like this, I cost a six year old her life."

* * *

Castle passed Kate a mug of coffee before sitting in front of her on the coffee table, watching her sip slowly as she sat rigidly on the sofa. She hadn't said a word since her confession earlier and he would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about her.

"Kate?" Castle asked softly, trying, and failing, not to startle her from her reverie.

"Hmm?" She hummed in askance.

"If you're able to share, I'd like to know what you meant earlier."

Kate sighed, dropping her eyes back down to her mug, her entire body as slumped as her injury would allow to be comfortable. Rick didn't want to ask, certainly didn't want to push, but it seemed as though she needed to talk about this, almost as though she never had. He found how much he hoped that wasn't the case rather distressing. But he felt it all the same. He hoped with everything in him that this wasn't the first time, that he wasn't the first person, to be told this story by his beautiful broken detective.

"I, I met Matt when I was fifteen." Kate started stiltedly, needing to start at the beginning, knowing it would make the most sense that way. "We were in the same literature class and I never really paid him much attention to be honest. But uh, his brother started dating a friend of mine at the time and we sort of ended up hanging out quite a bit."

Kate cleared her throat painfully and Rick felt it rip though his chest. This story was going to tear him to shreds, he could feel it.

"He asked me out just before my sixteenth birthday. We, moved pretty fast." Kate shook her head, a humourless chuckle escaping her even as her brow furrowed. "We got engaged fifteen months later, were married a month after my eighteenth birthday."

Rick made a surprised noise, making Kate look up at him questioningly. "Sorry, just, never had you pegged for the kind of girl who got married the moment she was legally able."

Kate shook her head. "Neither did I. My parents weren't happy. He'd been held back a grade, was a year older than me, he even had a kid from a previous relationship. She was nearly two when we got married. He'd been with her mother briefly but it hadn't worked out. She'd given Matt full custody though, she said she was too young to raise a child by her self. And Matt was so brilliant with her. You, you remind me so much of him with her, you and Alexis."

Kate took a fortifying breath before being able to continue. "She was gorgeous Rick. Beautiful long blonde curls, bright blue eyes, oh she would melt your heart as soon as she looked at you, she really would. And I loved her like a daughter."

Rick's heart broke at the wishful tone in her voice. It was all going to go downhill from here, he could feel it in the way his stomach dropped.

"My mother died on the ninth of January nineteen ninety nine. I had been married for just over a year, had been back from our anniversary weekend away only two weeks when I got a late night phone call from my father telling me my mother had been stabbed in an alleyway. It was a mugging gone wrong, everything was taken-her money, her purse, her jewellery. The only things left were her rings, hidden on a chain around her neck because she didn't want them on show while she worked, didn't want anyone to use us against her. My father has her wedding band, I have her engagement ring."

"Oh Kate." He murmured softly, wanting to take her hand but afraid touching her would only crumble her carefully tethered control.

"Matt was amazing. He held me while I cried for pretty much two days straight. He then held me again every time I had to drag my father from the bar once he'd started drinking himself into numb oblivion. By the time my mother's sixth month anniversary came around, the bartender at my father's local had me on speed dial. My father still isn't sober, hasn't been for any great length of time since."

Kate sighed softly. She could already feel Rick's heart breaking and she hadn't even gotten to the main part yet.

"Imogene basically called me mommy from day one. She loved me and I her. She grew up knowing that I wasn't her mother but knowing biology didn't make a difference. I considered adopting her at one point, it was something Matt and I were discussing. We started trying for a baby in the fall of our third year together. We tried and failed many times before finally falling pregnant the April of our fourth. We were so happy Rick. So, _so _happy."

The smile on her face may have broken his heart even more than the tears in her eyes. It spoke of a happier time, a time he hoped she'd have again at some point.

"I was sixth months pregnant and it was Saturday. Matt had to work so I had taken Immie out shopping for the day. Just us girls y'know? We didn't even once mention the baby or look at anything for the baby. I wanted to remind her that she was just as special to me. That my having my own biological child wasn't going to change anything between us. I had been a beat cop for a few months, not that I would be for much longer, my pregnancy made it unsafe for me to be out on the streets. I'd just finished a case. Well, my team had. We'd helped put away a young gang banger. Peter Dunlop, member of the Westies, arrested for possession with intent to supply. Westies weren't happy with him, or us. I would never have taken her if I didn't think it was safe."

Kate's eyes found his own and he found himself nodding, having no doubt to that but not entirely sure why she felt the need to get his reassurance for it.

"We were having lunch, ice cream, at a little open air parlour that has since closed. One minute, everything was fine. Immie and I were giggling over something her father had done the day before and then suddenly I heard Kevin Dunlop, Peter's brother, shout that I had taken one of his, so he'd take one of mine and then all hell broke loose." Kate swallowed roughly, tears beading down her cheeks unhindered as her entire face seemed to crumple in on itself. "I heard the gunshot, heard the bullet hit, but it took me a moment to realise it was Imogene I could hear gasping beside me."

Rick gasped.

"He'd shot her in the chest, hitting her lung, perforating more blood vessels than I could count. She bled out in my arms before the ambulance got there while all I could do was babble on about how she was going to be fine, how she shouldn't worry because I was going to make it okay."

Rick took her hand, unable to not hold onto her now. She grasped his hand firmly in hers and flashed him a weak but grateful smile. She needed the tether to keep her grounded.

"Matt screamed at me from the moment he found out until the night before the funeral about how it was all my fault. About how I should have known, how I should have saved her, how it should have been me taking the bullet not his daughter. I couldn't help but agree. We spent the night before the funeral apart, the first night since the day before our wedding and that should have been enough to signal we weren't going to get through this."

She paused to catch her breath.

"I was woken in the early hours with crippling contractions. The baby was three months early and I was terrified. I had Lanie drive me to the hospital as I was staying at hers and phoned Matt. He didn't answer, had been screening my calls, so I text him saying I was in labour and thus wouldn't be at the funeral. I didn't check my phone again until after Zach had been born seven hours later, there had been nothing they could do to stop my contractions. So, while my baby laid in an incubator, fighting for his tiny fragile life, I checked to see if his father had been in touch to find two messages. The first saying if I didn't come to the funeral, after I had gotten her killed in the first place, I wasn't fit to be a mother and he'd never speak to me again. The second a few hours later, telling me I was a heartless bitch who deserved to die like his daughter did."

Rick felt anger boil his blood at the thought of Kate vulnerable and alone reading that from her husband while not yet knowing if her baby was going to make it.

"I text him a picture of our son, telling him that I had a good reason to not be there, that our son and I needed him and he text back saying I wasn't to contact him again and I was never to mention his name connected to 'it'."

Kate pulsed her hand in his and he loosened his unconsciously tightened grip.

"Zach, obviously was fine. He was released from the hospital six weeks later. I had spent pretty much every waking hour with him there so obviously hadn't been in contact with anyone really. Two weeks after I brought my son home from the hospital, my wedding anniversary arrived, along with my divorce papers." She shook her head again. "So, Rick, I, I _can't _do this with you. With _anyone_. I can't, because I'll just end up hurting you or Alexis or Zach and I can't do that Rick, I just _can't_."


End file.
